Extremely Efficient and Incredibly Close

I have a bone to pick with the term “professional distance.”

Not because it wasn’t well-intentioned, but because of how it’s played out in practice. 

We have swung the pendulum so far in the opposite direction that people no longer see authority figures as humans. And how can you blame them when for so long authority figures never got to really know and see the humanity under their leadership?

In the world 2022, the term can be used to weaponize a lack of humanity for the sake of legality. It is driven more by fear than pragmatism. The term was coined in hopes that people would check their personal biases and be able to make tough decisions with anything influencing their choices. Ironically, if you are worried about playing favorites you probably aren’t going to be the one playing favorites. But here’s the hard reality – you will always have personal biases you need to check and putting too much distance between you and your people will not change that.

You can have empathy without enmeshment. You can recognize the time and place for different conversations at different levels of relationships. You can have space as a leader from your work life. 

But you can no longer use the idea of professional distance to not show up as your fully integrated and authentic self. People deserve your humanity. People are thirsty for it. It is not an excuse to shy away from the difficult and messy conversations we need to have in order to move forward as a collective society. It is not an excuse to play it safe because we are scared. Vulnerability is scary and risky and leaves you open for personal attack, but nothing of value was ever accomplished without great personal risk. You cannot lead what you are not willing to fully invest in.

You can only have one set of values.

And when people are one of those values, you cannot go wrong.